Peace Pace Paz

Peace Pace Paz

Originally uploaded by strong_enough

Peace be with you…

 

Sharing

“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” -Buddha

Do you remember your day to “share” in preschool? Elementary school? Do you remember how excited you were to take your favorite bear or game to school and show it off to your friends, classmates, and teachers? You very carefully selected your most prized possession and put it in the limelight. I remember begging my mom to let me bring my newest treasure  to school in Kindergarten. I remember promising that I would be so careful and I wouldn’t take her outside. Naturally, I did take her outside at recess because she was beautiful and I loved her. I wanted to play with the beautiful treasure I’d brought to school that day. My little treasure lost her head that day, but thankfully the break was clean and she’s been glued together and safe in her case ever since.

Today, I want to share two things I stumbled upon today. The first is a treasure of sportsmanship. The decision Coach Rohlman made is truly one that will remain with his team and Womack’s team for a lifetime. It is a shame that such acts of kindness and sportmanship are not more prevalent (or perhaps they are merely not deemed newsworthy?). I’m thankful for this piece and wanted to share it with you all.

The second thing I wanted to share is a beautiful reflection on self. Zach’s words reflect deeply the challenge of the photographer, the artist, the individual who constantly strives to better himself or herself. It is worth watching the entire video. It is worth bookmarking the video and returning to it again and again and again. And while you’re there, take a look around Deb Schwedhelm’s Photoblog and website. She’s a brilliant photographer and writer. Her words and actions inspire me often.

What do you want to share today?

 

Speak them now…

“Do not save your loving speeches for your friends till they are dead. Do not write them on their tombstones, speak them rather now instead.” –Anna Cummins

Years of collecting quotes has dampened the story of discovery this quotation for the first time. However, the speed and ease of simple searches online returned this quote to me this evening.

I always struggle in interpreting quotations because they often speak so directly to me. I cannot imagine them being understood in any other way than the way that I see, feel, and experience them in the moment. Cummins suggests that saving our words of gratitude, admiration, kindness, love, and each piece and reason for joy for tombstones and eulogies makes little sense. Why wait? Why hold on to those feelings when we could share them now? Why not tell those friends how much they mean to you or what joy they’ve brought to your life? Why not tell other people of their kindness and friendship now?

“Do not save your loving speeches for your friends till they are dead. Do not write them on their tombstones, speak them rather now instead.” –Anna Cummins

Tonight, August 19, 2008 at 6:26pm, JD Probasco earned his wings. I went to school with JD. He was one of the most gentle, kind, and caring individuals. He was the big teddy bear who listened to country music while working out in the weight room for football. He was so much more than that too. I can’t remember now if I ever told him how much I admired him. He was so smart and so much fun to be around. Seeing him in the hallways at school always brought a smile to my face and light to my day. But did he know? Did he know how much of an impact he had on the world around him? Did I maybe write these things in his year book? I don’t know. I can’t remember back that far. Clearly, this quote resonates deep in my soul tonight. As I see my friends’ hearts break at losing one of our own, my own heart breaks. As I think to the future and consider that I will not see JD at my high school reunion, I will not see him randomly when I make a trip home, I will not see him ever… my heart breaks. It breaks for his family and for his friends. My heart aches at the thought that others did not get a chance to know him. He should be known.

I hope that people can recognize the importance behind these words. Too often, I see that life isn’t long enough. It is cut short by accidents, disorders, diseases, and probably other categories I’m not thinking of at the moment. As any regular readers would know, the destructive forces of cancer take lives too early and too often and that is the reason I am TRI-ing as I am. JD didn’t die from cancer and while I do not know the exact cause, I do know that he died too young. I know that Courtney Nicole died too young. I know that others have gone too soon and each time I am reminded that life is fragile and we must make the most of each and every moment. We must love the people in our lives and let them know that we love them. Share that love and admiration and have no regrets. Do not save those words for later because you might not get later. You have now.

“Do not save your loving speeches for your friends till they are dead. Do not write them on their tombstones, speak them rather now instead.” –Anna Cummins

Rest in peace old friend… and say hi to my grandpa and Courtney. You are and will be missed forevermore.

 

I can. I can’t. I can…

“Happy Quotation Reflection Thursday!”
“But, um, you know it’s Wednesday, right?”
“Yep, it’s here a day early for a revival!”

I’ve missed the more thought-provoking writing since beginning to truly chronicle the training journey. As we discover every Saturday morning though, the inspiration is crucial to the journey. Fuel for the soul to keep us going during long workouts and early mornings. Food for thought as we race against time to finish our fundraising. And so it goes…

“Don’t let what you can’t do stop you from doing what you can do.” -John Wooden

I actually stumbled upon these words in a YouTube video… strange, I know. I’ll accept inspiration wherever I can find it though. I’ve been getting bogged down in the [lack of] fundraising progress recently. I’ve certainly had some great donations in the last couple of weeks, but the overall progress has dropped steadily since June. As I continue to rack my brain for new ideas, I search for motivation and inspiration.

I think these words are fairly straightforward. I think each person confronts this dilemma at some point and understands the can versus cannot. It returns to the list of pros and cons we’re taught as children, weigh your options and decide. This quotation reminds to consider the positives carefully and not necessarily let the cons win outright. Interestingly, I find myself continually writing sentences more geared towards reflection and application and less interpretation. And so we’ll continue…

“Don’t let what you can’t do stop you from doing what you can do.” -John Wooden

These words reminded me of why I began my journey with Team In Training. I remember the cons that played in my head and the cons that others suggested to me… all of the reasons why I *shouldn’t* do this only motivated me more as to why I *should* do this. There were many reasons on the shouldn’t list, including the monumental goal of fundraising. I don’t currently have health insurance with my job, would that be okay? What if I find a new job? Would they be supportive of this endeavor? What if this and what if that plagued my thoughts. And yet, the shoulds overwhelmed me. Why not now? Why not me? Why should I let the shouldn’ts overpower the great benefit of raising money for cancer research and raising awareness? What a great thing it would be to have goals again! Meet new people! Be inspired regularly! Get in shape! And so it continued… and here we are. There are many things I can’t do, but I can TRY (and now I know that I can TRI too) and I did not let those things prevent me from doing what I could.

For society, I think we often get pulled into what I’ve taken to calling the “hole of can’t.” Even as small children, we stop trying because of the fear that we “can’t” do something. When I used to work with elementary school students, I’d hear, “But I can’t read.” Do you know what you can do though? “You can find the letters you know and the sounds they make, you can sound through the word.” By using what they could, they often made it through what they couldn’t do. On a more global scale, poverty and disease seem impossible to make a dent in. What can I do? I’m only one person. I can’t fight poverty. I can’t cure cancer. But what *can* you do? You can raise awareness. You can research and learn. You can support others. You can make a donation. Oh, right, back to fundraising? You may think, “I just can’t make a donation.” Maybe you can’t, but can you have one less Starbucks this week? Donate that. Can you walk to work and donate a day’s gas money? Can you spread the word to others you know? Maybe *they* can donate. I can TRI, what can you do?

“Don’t let what you can’t do stop you from doing what you can do.” -John Wooden

 

Manners and Lessons Learned

Monday Manners.

Where do I even begin this Monday? Let’s talk Tri-Etiquette as I’m learning more and more everyday.

In a triathlon event, it is not only poor etiquette but also illegal to draft… that is to cluster and get within 7m of another cyclist. It may save you 20% in energy, but it’ll cost you in penalties. Meanwhile, in the open water swim… completely legal to get close to the other swimmers and bank on their work for your energy.

At the pool, there are lanes within the lanes. We don’t want anyone kicked.

Other Non-Mannered Lessons Learned:

Sunscreen is your best friend. Wear it. It doesn’t matter how long you think your workout is going to be, WEAR the sunscreen. Seriously.

Nothing new on race day… train with the theory of specificity.

Be a rocket.

Go with the current.

How to put on a swim cap… and how to choose the right pair of goggles.

Bike shorts feel a little like a diaper or how I imagine a diaper would feel like if I could remember back to the days of diapers.

People will surprise you.

Emails rock… THANK YOU.

 

Quotation Reflection Thursday

“How wonderful it is that nobody needs to wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” Anne Frank

One week into my journey with Team In Training, I still feel overwhelmed by the task ahead of me in fundraising. I’m brainstorming constantly and regularly trying to come up with new ideas, techniques, and events in which I can raise money for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. In the last week, I have seen great generosity, but I still have so far to go. As such, I found myself online looking for motivating quotation about fundraising… to both lift myself and hopefully encourage others to donate. It was through that search that I found these words from Anne Frank.

In many ways, this quote needs no interpretation. Anne finds it to be wonderful that we needn’t wait for the “right” time or a “special” time before we begin to improve the world because we can start doing it right now. Every breath, every action, every tiny step we take makes an impact on the world. Anne shows us that those tiny steps can be the start of improving the world.

“How wonderful it is that nobody needs to wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” Anne Frank

I’ve often found myself wallowing in how big the world’s problems are. I think to myself, “What could I possibly do to help? I’m just one person.” As I reflect on this quote though, I realize how silly it is to become stuck in such a thought process. I realize that I’ve already made an impact on the world around me: tutoring second grade for four years, teaching Sunday school, helping with Cool Club, buying a necklace from Beads For Life, recycling, and so many other things that I do day to day. Yes, signing up for this triathlon was a HUGE step towards improving the world (particularly the world of those personally affected by blood cancers), but such a big thing wasn’t the only way for me to help. Quite truly, many could say that I should have waited to do such a big thing in my life. Wait until my jobs were more stable and my income flow was more conducive to taking time to train. Wait until I had health insurance. Wait until … wait until … I could have come up with a million and one reasons why I shouldn’t do this, but the time is now and I couldn’t wait anymore.

When it comes to society as a greater whole, each person can realize and actualize their potential to improve the world. I’m not telling you that you need to run a marathon or triathlon (although it is a great cause), but I’m simply reminding you that you can make a difference in small ways. For Team In Training, you can donate, educate, and motivate. You can share and inspire. Those things will help me and help those with blood cancers. You can work toward your own cause that YOU are passionate about: write letters, send emails, share stories. Just today, a friend asked me to help her in the fight against Cystic Fibrosis. Only a few weeks ago, another friend went on a bike ride for diabetes. Some serve with their own hands, others contribute in whatever way they can. Find your own way… improve your world. The time is now. We don’t need to wait.

“How wonderful it is that nobody needs to wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” Anne Frank

 

Kick Off!

As I entered the building at the Del Mar Fairgrounds, uncertain about what I was getting myself into, I put on my happy face and embraced the unknown (as I know I’ll do many more times before this journey ends). The moment I walked up, I encountered beautiful people who not only seemed to be genuinely passionate, but who I believe *are* genuinely passionate about Team In Training and LLS. Every person was kind, helpful, and encouraging. Instantly, everything seemed simpler. The encouragement and kindness made all the nagging worries and fears temporarily melt away and all I saw was the big picture. It reminded me of looking for a college as a high school senior.

I knew when I stepped on USD’s campus that that was the place for me. People were kind, helpful, passionate, and enthusiastic. “Do you need help?” “Do you know where you’re going?” “Let me show you…” “Let me introduce you…” Every person was a light shining and pointing towards USD as my school of choice. Each event and person throughout the day left a mark that said, “I want to go here. This is where I belong.”

That’s exactly how I felt when I walked into the Kick Off today. Smiling faces greeted me and showed me where to go. Helpful people began to show me the ropes and answer my questions. Passionate and enthusiastic people made me believe once more that this goal is attainable. Joy radiated from each person I met and life seemed heightened. We were there united for a cause and united in a goal. I can’t even begin to truly put into words what that felt like.

I also met my honored teammate today. Tamela (as she put it: Pamela with a T) was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. A large tumor grew on her sternum and was detected while she was pregnant with her youngest daughter. She found out her diagnosis after her daughter was born as she did not want to risk her daughter’s health through the methods of detection and testing during pregnancy. Her younger daughter is now 2 ½ and Tamela has been cancer-free for 20 months. What a blessing! Meeting Tamela tonight was amazing and I’m so excited to begin training to honor her. She’ll be at all of our Saturday workouts and I can’t wait to get to know her better and learn more of her story (and hopefully meet her family too!). Her emotion and gratitude left a lump in my throat and I am so proud to have her on my team. I met two of the other honored teammates for other teams as well… one of whom as been free of AML (Acute Myelogenous Leukemia) for nine months and another still battling Multiple Myeloma (the same cancer as my honored teammate). While they’re honored teammates for marathon teams for the Fall Season, they’re both currently training for the Rock N Roll marathon on June 1st here in San Diego… amazing!! I hope I’ll get to see and talk to them more throughout the season, even though they aren’t my specific team’s honored teammates.

I also met my head coach, assistant coach, coordinator, and mentors tonight. I’m already a huge fan of them all. Coach Gurujan even showed me how to take the wheel off my bike so that I can bring my bike to training on Saturday! I hope it’s as easy on my bike as it was on his bike.

We received a brief overview of our training schedule tonight—wow! I’m going to be busy, but it’ll be fantastic. Training starts Saturday, but it’s supposed to be a light workout. We’re also having an expo on proper attire and equipment (so I’m thinking I’ll be making some purchases in the next week or so). One more step on the way to the triathlon… GO TEAM! It’s as simple as that.

 

Thankful Friday

It’s hard to believe another week has passed and that May is well underway now (and May Gray with it!). It’s hard to believe that this is my second Thankful Friday already! Time certainly does fly!!

Keeping with my theme of Team In Training this week (as shall probably be the sole focus of this blog over the next few months), today I am thankful for donations. I’m thankful for the amazing individuals who have already taken the time and given of themselves to help me reach my goal of $4500. It is no small task and I would not be able to do it without them. I understand that not everyone will be able to donate; I have been there. However, it makes those donations which are possible that much more miraculous.

I have so much more to do before September, but I know that with faith and trust… and a lot of hard work and the support of others, I can do this. It is possible.

Meanwhile, I called my grandma today (hi Grandma! if you come and read this) and told her that I signed up to do a triathlon. She laughed, paused, and laughed some more. This continued for possibly five minutes straight. “Your grandpa and I were just talking about your first day of soccer,” she said, “and you had to run from one end of the field to the other… halfway there you decided to go back because you didn’t want to do it.” I assured her that this time I wouldn’t stop halfway; I was only 7 or 8 years old then after all. She told me she was going to start saying the rosary for me because, “you aren’t very athletic.”

She’s not wrong. I danced my entire life, I did cheer, but when it came to “real sports”… well, I wasn’t so into it. I did play a fantastic game of powderpuff football though. The amazing thing about Team In Training though is that I don’t have to be the world’s greatest athlete, I’m going to be partnered up with someone at my level and together we will reach the finish line. I don’t have to be the fastest or the strongest, I just need to have the determination to persevere when the going gets tough. I might not be the most athletic, but just about anyone that knows me can tell you I’m stubborn and strong-willed. I’ve set my mind to completely this triathlon and raising the money I committed to raise, there’s no turning back now.

I was and am thankful for my grandma’s laughter though… and no doubt my grandpa’s laughter when my grandma told him what I was doing. It reminds me that maybe I am a little crazy, but also that it is my passion that is driving me. It also made it that much more meaningful when she told me that she was proud of me. I hope that I can make others proud too… I hope that I can make Courtney, the other angels, and all those that are on this journey NOT by choice proud.

Tonight, I am thankful for the blessing of laughter, the blessing of donations, and the blessing of support.

I cannot do this without you, so thank you.

 

Peace Wednesdays

I was fifteen years old and just a few weeks into my sophomore year of high school. The day started out like any other day: I woke up, got ready for school, and stopped into my cheer advisor’s classroom when I got to school. From that moment on, it was no longer a typical day.

Courtney had leukemia. She was thirteen years old. How was this possible?

I fumbled through my day. By the time I got to cheer practice in 6^th period, I was so grateful to be surrounded by other girls who knew Court. We hugged and we sat in silence. We tried not to cry, but sometimes couldn’t help ourselves. We took the team picture that day and the other freshmen cheerleaders used eyeliner to honor her on their shoulders.

Days, weeks, and months passed by. We missed Court every day and wished her the best. We made videos and cards for her. By the end of the year, there was no evidence of disease. She was cancer free and given the go ahead for coming back to school the following year. Success! She was a survivor.

She was an inspiration… and she continues to inspire from the heavens. She did not have an earthly survival when she was re-diagnosed with leukemia two years ago. I have written of those final days many times, but I still struggle with understanding why she couldn’t survive leukemia a second time. She was nineteen years old. This isn’t how a life should end. It breaks my heart to see living grief in her family and closest friends.

Tonight, I made a very difficult decision to honor her and all those that are diagnosed with blood cancers. The decision to honor Courtney, Alese, Krista, and Jason was simple. The decision to personally honor those others I know who do not have blood cancers, but whose battles with cancer are equally worthy of honor and recognition was easy. However, making the commitment to join Team In Training and raise $4500 in the next four months while training for a triathlon was not easy. I have no idea how I’m going to do this. I am relying solely on faith. I am resting on angels’ wings and praying their strength will carry me to the finish line. All of my life I’ve been told that God provides, I pray tonight for peace of mind in this decision. I pray that I will have the faith to believe what I’ve been told and know that if I work towards this goal that God will provide. The peace I seek this night is for all those encountering cancer.

In a couple of days, my page with TNT should be active and ready to go. I ask now that you consider donating to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in their mission to fight blood cancers through research. I ask that you consider supporting me in my endeavor to raise money for research and reach the finish line in September. In the meantime, take a moment to visit the sites listed below. Let these young angels inspire you. Also, consider registering as a bone marrow donor (www.marrow.org). They have currently waved the registration fee in honor of Mother’s Day (and the life they gave us).

Courtney Nicole
November 21, 1986 – November 14, 2006
http://www.freewebs.com/courtneynicole

Alese Coco
March 10, 1984 – May 7, 2007
http://www.alesecoco.org
http://www.fight2win.org

Krista Romero
November 8, 2008 – June 9, 2007
http://www.carepages.com (Page Name: kristasupdates)

 

 

TGIF: Thankful Fridays

In the spirit of TGIF, Fridays have been deemed “Thankful Fridays” (for the month of May at least). And just as I was stumped yesterday, despite having a theme, I found myself stumped yet again. I mean, I’m thankful for a lot of things and I try to be aware of that thankfulness as well as share that thankfulness regularly. So, how does decide which to write about? Does choosing to write about our thankfulness devalue other things we are thankful for? These questions scurried through my mind as I tried to pick something.

My inspiration today came not from a phone that hit me like a ton of bricks… but from a slab of concrete that hit me like a… slab of concrete. Let me back track a moment for you.

On Tuesday, I had the good fortune of an afternoon off. For that I was and am thankful as it afforded me the opportunity (and money necessary) to get the air filter and oil changed in my car and the tubes changed on my bike tires. My bike is several years old. I don’t remember how old I was when I got it, but it was while I lived in Santa Paula. As such, it is at least 10 years old and could be up to 13 years old. The tubes were the original tubes. They were dead. They did not hold air anymore. These new tubes in my tires… tires that were actual FULL of air… THEY were a blessing! Now I can ride my bike to work again… now I can go on bike rides JUST BECAUSE. For that I was and am thankful.

Today, I woke up late and did not get ready quickly enough to ride my bike to work. I was sad and felt incredibly lazy as a result. So, I planned and mapped out a route that totaled 4 miles (distance to and from work) that included Whole Foods (a store I needed to visit) on the route. Simple enough, right? Right. I came home, changed out of my work clothes, and set off on my bike ride. I stopped into Whole Foods and continued on my journey. As I neared the end, I couldn’t remember which street I needed to turn on next per my 4.0 mile route… so I pulled out the paper for a quick glance at the street names.

This is where I went wrong. Apparently, I altered my weight just enough to completely throw off the balance and I started zooming toward the curb (better than into the cars, right? RIGHT.). I tried to correct the problem. I tried desperately to avoid hitting the curb, but there was no hope. I was doomed and I braced myself.

That’s when my inspiration hit me like a slab of concrete… cold, hard sidewalk concrete. I caught myself on my hands mostly and my left wrist is a little sore. My knees are a little red and probably bruised, but nothing too terrible. An older gentleman pulled over to check and see if I was alright; I thanked him and assured him I was just fine. I was just fine. I could have hit my head. I could have broken a bone (and without health insurance that would certainly be a tragedy). I could have thrown off my balance in the other direction and hit a car instead of a curb. Yes, it could have been much worse.

I am thankful that I can ride my bike again; I’m more thankful tonight that even though I felt like a seven year old who crashed her bike… or possibly the five year old me who ripped out her stitches when she fell on her bike… I was okay. No, I didn’t finish my bike ride though. I decided against the last half mile and rode home instead (as I crashed only around the corner from my apartment). My injuries were minimal and my bike was fine. I’m also thankful that my roommates gave me a hard time about considering not wearing my helmet because I didn’t want to change my hairstyle.

Tonight, I am thankful. Very thankful.